Failure

REALLY? How depressing is that?

Most of you knew that I had failed my practical exam that I did in August. According to Soichiro Honda, I will have to fail another 98 times? (I know I know.. offcourse that's NOT what he meant)

The thing about that exam is... I can't seemed to move on.. why oh why? Those who are close to me even from my previous lifes would know that 'failure' is NOT uncommon for me.

It's a wonder till this day why I am a physicist.. I failed and failed and failed. Third Semesters - that's me...
I didn't graduate in time even... always have to repeat repeat repeat..

So why is the last one knocked me about so much??? I still can't figure it out. Yesterday I was teary thinking about it. I was talking to a fellow physicist who did the same bootcamp with me. We talked about the exam and soon I found myself bitching about it again.. sore loser for sure.

Hisham has been... well supportive enough. but he also know how to crush me dead! I am becoming shyer and shyer to even share anything work related with him.. I probably have too high expectation on him.. Gosh  I am getting teary again! - get a grip girl! -

What if I become teary during the exam??? F.Y.I - I will be teary when I am sad [mainly feeling sorry for myself], BUT I also will get teary when I am angry. Gosh am I going mental?  [I'm imagining attacking one of the examiners with my pen for eg.?] Maybe I should go see shrink and do some anger management?

Beautiful Living

I always love the 'greeny' kind of living. There are many people in Tasmania living this way [sustainable type of living] where they eat what they grow and generate their own energy. A lot "hippies" type of people living around Sheffield and Deloraine. I wish I grow more of my food.

In Malaysia I think "orang asli" people has the best "zen" living conditions, fresh air etc. On our way to Cameron Highlands we saw a lot of stalls selling 'petai' (that green stinky beans which is so yummy for me- I think), honey and what looked (to me) like bamboo shoots. The honey is arguably the best in the world. It's called "Tualang honey". It tastes a bit sour-ish and I like it. 

She told me that they are "Semai" people.

 

Bees nest [well not anymore] from Tualang tree. 

I didn't buy any honey because I don't really understand why some is really really black.

Ummmph - How nice is this place?

Ever since I married Hisham, I always wanted to take him here [Cameron Highlands]. Finally we got here. Pictures doesn't do justice to this place. You have to be here to soak up the green atmosphere. Certainly one of magic places on earth [for me]